Shelter From the Pain
by Killah1091
Summary: Lightning is struggling to return to a normal life after Fang and Vanille save Cocoon and are trapped in the crystal pillar. How can she cope with losing her best friend? Song Fic: Shelter by Eisley. Angsty, not femslash. One Shot. First song fic.


**A/N: **Hey guys, I was recently introduced to the band **Eisley** by a friend, and their new album Currents had a couple songs on it that I felt would fit a song fic pretty well. I decided to give this a go. The song is called "**Shelter**". I'd recommend giving the song a listen, just to get a feel for the lyrics. It's a great song in it's own right. Almost haunting, in a way, which fits the tone of this fic. Let me know if you liked it! I whipped it out in one sitting, before the idea ran away, as ideas tend to do. Fair warning: ahead lies angst.

**2A/N:** Apparently it's against the rules to quote lyrics from songs (that I didn't write) in fics, so thanks to catspats31 for letting me know before I got flagged or banned. However, this means to get the full fic experience the way it was meant to be, you have to look the lyrics up, or actually listen to the song. I'M SORRY. IT'S A GOOD SONG. LIKE IT.

**3A/N: **Time stamps added - go check out the song on YouTube if you want, and follow along, so you can tell what parts of the song inspired what parts of the fic.

* * *

"Fang?!"

"The one and only." Fang winked, one hand on her hip.

"Wha…when did you get back? How…" I stood in my doorway, jaw on the floor.

Fang took my hand and pulled me outside, gesturing in the direction of Cocoon, which had been her home for the last few weeks. Cocoon was still floating, encased in crystal, but the pillar that supported it, and held Fang and Vanille captive, was gone.

I couldn't believe it. All I wanted these seventeen days was Fang, back with me, and here she was, in the flesh. But something felt off.

"You're really back?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course, Light. Why would I joke about this? For that matter," Fang grinned, "how would I even joke about this?" But as Fang smirked at me, my worst fears came true. She began fading away, into thin air.

"NO!" I sat up violently in bed, sweating, panting, and out of breath. My head collapsed back into the pillow as I sighed heavily, blinking tears out of my eyes. This was the seventh, no, eighth time I'd dreamed of Fang and Vanille waking from crystal slumber. I didn't realize how much I missed them, Fang especially, until they were gone.

_**First Chorus (First few lines) - 0:00 - **_

During the l'Cie's adventures on Gran Pulse, I realized that, although Fang aggravated me to no end, and she seemed to try to do it on purpose, which only made me more frustrated with her at times, we were kindred spirits. Both of us had but one reason to live: protecting our sisters from the harsh realities of life. Through it all, we discovered that we could bond through our similarities. I began to open up to her, like I had only opened up to one person before. I realized that I wasn't invincible. We took guard shifts together and just talked. We talked about our lives before all of this, about Fang's part in the War of Transgression, about her time in the orphanage, about my parents, raising Serah. Through all of this, Fang became the closest friend I'd ever had, and my rock on the journey. She was like a twin sister to me, and I remember thinking to myself one night that I was no longer only fighting for Serah. I was fighting for Fang. The two women I was closest to both deserved everything I could give. Serah, for being my sister, and Fang, for showing me that even the strong older sister needs someone too. All I wanted was to introduce Serah to Fang, and show her who kept me going and fighting to bring her back.

_**First Verse Part 1 - 0:31 -**_

It feels like I haven't been able to draw a full breath in the seventeen days since Fang and Vanille saved Cocoon. Something is constricting my chest, inhibiting my movement. Is it love? I don't really know. I don't have much experience with love. All I know is that standing here at the edge of this cliff, looking at the pillar where she's trapped, my world is in shambles. I feel like Fang is just out of my reach, just out over the cliff's edge. What if Fang and Vanille are dead in there? They might never come back. Is there any point in living, if I can't have them with me? I don't need a soul mate now, just a friend. Just Fang. My dreams, no, nightmares, where Fang shows up at my door before fading away? Teasing me with what I'm starting to think won't come true? I know it's only been seventeen days. I know it's unrealistic to expect them to break free in such a short time. But Serah was freed by the goddess quickly, so why can't she give me Fang back? Or worse, what if it's another 500 years this time?

Every day I go through this dialogue with myself. Depression? A special kind of it, I think. I accomplished what I set out to do in this whole mess. I saved Serah, but now she has Snow. I found something that I didn't expect to, something very important to me, and now I've lost it. No. It was taken from me, by the fal'Cie.

**_First Verse Part 2 - 0:47 -_**

All the rest of the l'Cie miss Fang and Vanille, sure. Hope misses Vanille, but he's too young to truly 'miss' her. Having Serah back is amazing. She's been the light in my cold, regimented life for years, and after shoving her away like I did, saving her is the best thing that could've happened. But she doesn't (and can't) understand why I'm taking this so hard. Snow, Sazh, and Hope tell me they know how I feel, and Serah assures me that they'll be back as quick as she was, because they have me fighting for them as well.

None of them know. None of them hear my silent crying at night, or my pleas to Etro to bring them back at the base of the pillar, with one hand resting above my left breast. When Serah comes to visit, which is nearly every day, she'll listen to my concerns, and even hold me when tears threaten to pour out, but all she can offer are the usual "It'll be alright," and "I'm so sorry, Claire." I love her for trying, but she isn't truly hearing what's in my heart. She can't stop the pain; no one can, except her.

_**Chorus - 1:10 -**_

One day, Fang. One day, you'll come back. Just please. Make it soon. I feel like my memories of you are fading, and I can't let that happen. I relive our best times together every day in my head, and I take what shelter I can in them from the pain.

**_Second Verse Part 1 - 1:41 -_**

I walk to the pillar at least once a week to talk to Fang.

"It's been four years today. Four years without you, or Vanille. Serah and Snow are married, with a two-year old girl they named Averia, which is my middle name. I know I've told you this a hundred times…but Fang, the hurt hasn't gone away. It grows dull when I'm distracted from it, but every night, I'm left alone with my thoughts. I'm drowning slowly in the waters of this life. I need you here, to keep me afloat." I wipe unshed tears from my eyes and sniff loudly. "You'd be proud of me though, I haven't even thought about suicide for three years…ever since Serah found me at the edge of Oerba Point, at the lowest I've ever been. But that was the first anniversary… the first anniversary was heartbreaking…the second sucked, and the third was still horrible. The fourth, well that's today. You could make it the best day of my life, if you just came out of there…"

I drop to my knees, and put my face in my hands. My shoulders are shaking and I'm actually sobbing, and I don't care.

_**Second Verse Part 2 - 1:56 -**_

Slowly I stand up again and face the pillar, leaning against it with one hand. "No one understands. They've all moved on. Today they'll probably gather at Lebreau's and talk about our memories, but I can't. I'll break down again, and I can't let them see me like that again. Serah tries so hard. But it just seems like no one can help. Please…save me from this pain."

**_Bridge/Ending lines - 3:21 - _**

Suddenly, I hear a faint voice in my head. That Pulsian accent, I'm imagining it. I'm starting to hear voices; I'm going crazy.

"Light…"

"Fang!" I yell out loud.

"Light…I can hear you. I'm so sorry Light. We're tryin' so hard. Please…hang on."

"Fang, tell me that's really you. If this is some kind of joke…" I fall to my knees again, looking up through teary eyes.

"Claire…it's really me. The crystal sleep is weakening, if I can do this. I'm comin'. Just hang on. Hearing that just broke my heart…I promise I'll be there."

"And if you make it out…" I stop to catch my breath. "DON'T EVER LEAVE AGAIN. I swear…I will kick your ass to Cocoon and back."

"There's the Lightnin' I remember." She laughed and I started crying again, just hearing her laugh.

Then, Vanille spoke up. "We gotta go now, Light. Etro gave us a little time, but it's run out. We'll be back soon though, you'll see! Tell the others it won't be long, kay?"

I wiped happy tears from my eyes. "Sure thing 'Nille. Hurry up, please."

Suddenly, I felt warmth all around me, as if arms were embracing me. I caught a whiff of an earthy scent that reminded me of Fang. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. "Bye Sunshine…." I heard, as her voice faded away.

Three weeks later, I woke to a pounding on my front door. This time, it really was her at the door, just like in my dreams. Except this time it was real. Once I recovered from the shock, I tackled her in a hug and we ended up in the front yard grass, crying and hugging like ten-year old kids. All was right in the world, and I was never letting go.


End file.
